WILD RUMPUS TIME!!!

Dear Diary,
    Although i know you consider me to be the most well behaved angel ever put on this great earth, I have to admit to you that I may have a sorta wild side.  Now wait!  Before you yum to conclusions, I want you to know that it only shows up as often as a blue moon.  AND! It is COMPLETELY not my fault.  OK, here it goes.  Once upon a time I was in the show, listening to my pumping beats.  There was but one problem, a certain evil lady in my house had the demonic urge to open all the windows during the night, thus making the air inside the house as frigid as the Arctic poles.  Anyway, I had just removed myself from my steaming haven, toweled off, and begun my search for clothing.  There were none in the bathroom so I began my exit from the bathroom when two things happened.  One, a very fast paced and exciting song came on.  Ya know, the one that gets inside your head and makes you wanna go crazy.  And two, the Arctic air of the rest of my house had just assaulted my unclothed body.  In that instant I knew that I needed cloths or I would not make it.  I sprinted, screaming, through my house to my living room.  I had my eyes set on a basket, normally filled with fresh cloths.  Alas this basket was as bare as my bottom!  I grabbed the basket, raised it over my head, and made a battle cry while flinging it onto the couch.  My last hope was my room, aaaaallllllllllllllll the way up stairs.  I made a mad dash for the stairs, scrambling up them like an ape up a tree.  Unfortunately my dog Halo, a 90 pound adorable mutt wanna-be lap dog, had decided to see wtf is going on down stairs.  We collided 3/4ths of the way up, I attempted to jump over him.  At the same moment he had decided to try and escape by running up the stairs.  I landed atop him, he let out a yelp of surprise and I a war cry!  I managed to make it up stairs through the wreckage of this collision.  Halo still running around freaking out, and myself dashing for my cloths rack.  BUT WHAT IS THIS?!!  MY CLOTHS RACK IS EMPTY!  This information hit me like a 900 pound sumo wrestler, but it could not defeat me.  I had one last final hope of survival.  My bed.  I lunged for it like a tiger, as grace full and majestic as a naked barbarian can be.  I looked forward in flight, eyes gleaming at the prize ahead.  That's when I saw it.  My small black dog, Scottie, had heard all the commotion and taken refuge in the luscious covers of my bed.  I slammed into my bed like a sack of bricks.  Luckily Scottie was able to avoid me, but only by launching herself off the bed into my cloths basket.  On the verge of safety, I burrowed into my blankets and was finally safe. See diary, I was a victim of circumstance.

                           Love,
                                  Quinn S. Seitz

(P.S.  This all happened in about a 30second time period.)